On your own at a party?

I can see it now. You've been invited to an Xmas party, or you have an opportunity to attend a festive event, a new year's shindig or whatever, but you’re thinking

“Ughh, it’s cold and wet outside, and I won’t know anyone, and I don’t have the energy for socialising, and I’d much rather crash out in my PJs with a glass of wine and binge on [enter name of fave Netflix series].”

Sound familiar?

Well here are 4 reasons why you should take a deep breath and GO to the party, even if you’re going on your own!!

Reason #1: Remember – Nothing exciting is going to happen if you stay home.

It might feel comfy to lie on your couch snacking in front of a movie, but by the end of the evening nothing much is going to have changed.

If you want to meet a good man, you have to meet men – lots of them – so you have a chance to find that gem. Yes it means you have to make an effort. It takes time and energy and sometimes getting out of your comfort zone, but think of the potential rewards.

You might already know the story of how I met my now husband – but in case not, it was at a singles event in a bar in Edinburgh. I really didn’t fancy it as it was a cold, wet January night, and I was a bit knackered after work. But I made myself go – and boy am I glad I did, because I met the man who’d become the love of my life.

You need to make opportunities!

Reason #2: Being on your own makes it much easier to talk to new people

Maybe you don’t feel like going to that event because you won’t know many people, or you don’t have any proper friends there.

But instead of thinking you’ll feel like “Billy-no-mates” see it as an opportunity to talk to new people! You’re an independent woman – you don’t need to be propped up by familiar people, people that you might not like that much anyway!

If you’re not glued to a group and can be a bit of a free spirit around the venue, it opens up possibility for chatting with new people. See this as a great opportunity for making new connections. Even if you don’t speak to eligible guys, you can still be building your network and who knows where that might lead…

Reason #3: You can connect with the good guys

One of the reasons we often feel like there are no decent guys out there is because the ones who approach us are often the “player” type, the ones who think they have the moves and aren’t too worried about what people think.

The nice guys – they’re more respectful, they might not be quite so confident about approaching you because they do care about what you think, so they hang back.

So make it easier for good guys to speak to you. If you’re not part of a big group - that helps hugely – imagine how hard it must be for a man to approach a woman who’s in a posse of women (or even worse – women and men). The thought of a brush-off in that scenario gives him the fear, big time.

So don’t be afraid to stand/sit by yourself. Adopt an open body posture. Make eye contact (without looking away immediately) and SMILE.

Reason #4: You can take the opportunity to make the moves

Of course, you don’t have to wait for him to approach you. You’re a modern woman and this is the 21st century. You can make a move yourself and most men will appreciate this!

It doesn’t have to be direct – that can be scary. Why not wait until he’s up at the bar. The chances are it’s going to be busy and you could move up and cheekily say something like:

“Hiya looks like I’m going to have to just squeeze in here!”

And flash him your best smile. That should get a conversation started :)

Good luck!!