The Best Ever Dating Support for Women Over 50

You might have noticed that everyone is going on about “reflection” right now – it’s January after all, the time when we think about what’s been working for us, and what we need to do differently.

So I’ve been doing a bit of reflection too. On a personal level, I need to get more exercise, and to do as much of it as possible outdoors because I know that’s what makes me feel good and gets my creativity going. So I’m determined to do more hill walking; my go-to places are usually the Pentland hills near Edinburgh or up into the highlands when I get the chance, and I’m also going to sign up for more kayaking. I did some fantastic paddling around the Forth estuary, and off the north west coast of Scotland last year, so bring on more of that!

But I’ve also been thinking over how I can improve my own offering around dating, given my experience over the last 3 years of what works best in helping midlife women find a good partner.

And I’ve come to the conclusion that we need to have more, longer lasting ongoing peer support.

Many, many of my clients have told me that while the science-based and practical advice within the online course part of the program has been vital in helping them avoid the mistakes of the past and guide them to choosing a guy who can make them happy, it’s been the ongoing guidance from me and the ongoing peer support from other women - who are basically in the same boat – that has got them out there, taking action, and finding their guy.

This ongoing group support in the Dating Evolved program takes two forms: Firstly there are the “Pod Calls” (I’m calling them pod calls now to differentiate them from other group calls) where we have weekly calls with the same small-group of women (max 8) for 7 weeks to go through the modules of the Dating Evolved online course and talk about how the science and practical advice apply to your personal situation. Pod members get to know each other really well, become invested in each others’ outcomes, and really support and encourage each other on the dating journey.

Then we also have the Dating Evolved Academy where we have regular group calls to discuss dating issues and share experiences. These calls involve bigger groups of women, but we also have breakout rooms during the calls of 3 or 4, so that members can get to know each other well, and discuss issues in an intimate setting.

And the idea that small-group support works for women is totally backed up by science. Research in the realms of behavioural science and evolutionary psychology suggest that while men cooperate well in large, loose coalitions (think warfare, or rugby clubs) women do far better in much smaller groups where they can get to know each other’s personal stories and have each other’s backs.

In the context of the Dating Evolved program, this peer support has been even more effective than even I anticipated! So, the theory and advice in the online course, gives my clients the knowledge and tools to take action and find the right man, but it’s the ongoing support from other women who are on the same journey, experiencing many of the same issues, that really helps them get over the line. 

Dating can be fun, but sometimes it can be exhausting or demoralising if things don’t go well for a bit, and having a bunch of women who you’ve got to know and trust and who have your back, is absolutely invaluable. They know what you’re going through and they’ll be rooting for you – and you for them. Many of my clients have made great friends with each other and many have met up in real life, which is lovely.

Here are some bits and pieces various clients have said about the value of the ongoing group support:

"I was totally against online dating when I first started the Dating Evolved program, but gradually during the group calls, the lovely ladies in the community chipped away at that resistance with their encouragement and support, and so I tried online dating and I came to really enjoy it! And I met a great guy who I’m now in a lovely relationship with!" - Fiona

"Several of us from our original (Pod) group are in great relationships now, but would any of us have got there without the regular group calls? I’m not sure – they’re just so supportive and inspiring!" – Katy

“I REALLY enjoy the interaction from the wonderful women in the Dating Evolved community. I think if I'd had this group sooner, I'd have steered clear of some of my disastrous past encounters! Now I’m with a lovely man and am SO very lucky to have him in my life.” - Jane

So, given that the ongoing peer support is so effective I’ve decided to extend it within the program to a full 12 months. Up until now, we’ve been running the program with 6 months in the Dating Evolved Academy, and that works well for some of my clients who are quick off the mark in finding their man and already well on their way at the 6-month mark. But for some it takes a little longer, and my sense is that if they drop out of the supportive community of the Dating Evolved Academy and try to push on alone – it’s going to be a difficult journey. So now I want to offer a FULL YEAR of support in our community. Even if you do meet someone early on, you’ll find it invaluable to have support in the early stages of a relationship and feedback on your experience, to make sure you’re starting as you mean to go on.

CHECKOUT THE NEW 12 MONTH PROGRAM!

But of course, not everyone likes to learn or share personal experiences in groups, or if they do, it’s still valuable to have the one-to-one support of an expert, especially if you can pick up that support whenever you need it.

So another new service I’ve decided to add to the Dating Evolved small-group program, for those who would like it, is on-demand one-to-one support from me, where you can have a phone or zoom call with me every month for 12 months. Obviously this will mean a bit extra in terms of financial investment because you’d be getting a lot of my time, but if you’d like to have that on-tap personal support then this will be a great option for you.

You’ll choose what we talk about in our calls: this might be drilling down on issues around attachment, or recurring relationship problems in the past. Perhaps you’ll want to discuss a fledgling relationship, or you’re seeking an opinion on what to say to a guy you’re thinking of messaging – or perhaps an opinion on the messages he’s been sending you. Maybe you’d like to have a debrief on a date you’ve been on, or you simply want to have a chat for moral support before you meet someone for the first time. I can help with all of these things.

So, I’ve added this option to the program and you’ll find this one-to-one support in the PREMIUM small-group program package.

CHECKOUT OUR PREMIUM & STANDARD PACKAGES

I’m pretty proud of these offerings and I know that the Small-Group Program as it stands now will offer you the best ever learnings and support so that you can find the man you need for the relationship you want.

Do have a look at the new packages, and if you have any questions or would like to have a chat about whether the program is a good fit for you, do book a free call to have a chat with me.

BOOK A FREE CALL WITH MAIRI

So, those are my reflections on what works for my clients and where I’m going with the Dating Evolved program this year. If you have any thoughts on this, anything you’d like to see added, or any thoughts about the program structure and what could make it more useful or accessible, please do email at [email protected] and let me know!